Archive for VHS


Posted in 2011 New, Movies (2011) with tags , on February 27, 2011 by btsjunkie

Watched: 2/27/2011

Wheeler drifts into a small town not necessarily looking for trouble but is the kind man that has trouble following him wherever he goes. He is hired to kidnap an oil baron. When the kidnapped man escapes, Wheeler’s assistant chases after him. This happens while Wheeler is out doing other crazy stuff like terrorize a young barmaid played by Linnea Quigley in her first role. The scene is intense, trashy and sort of a microcosmic peek at the rest of Quigley’s career to come. PSYCHO FROM TEXAS benefits most by a powerful performance by John King III as Wheeler. He’s not much to look at but there’s intense, brooding psychosis apparent in his every move. I hope it was just acting because this guy is a bit creepy. The movie attempts to explain Wheeler’s mental state by showing flashbacks of his childhood watching his prostitute mother earn a living. It kinda works, I guess. The whole thing is just dripping in sleeze and that’s why I love it! Oh, I wish the song they use over and over again in this movie, “Yesterday was a Long Time Ago” was available somewhere. It’s gloriously bad and supremely catchy!

  • 2011 New: 71
  • 2011 Re-see: 31
  • 2010 TOTAL: 102


Posted in 2011 New, Movies (2011), RGECA 2010 with tags , , on February 26, 2011 by btsjunkie

The Reel Grit Endurance Challenge started in LA and we Austin folks finally got permission to hold our own. The basic premise is a film marathon where all the movies are generally considered awful, participants may not talk through the films, if one must use the restroom one must do so in less than a minute or be forced to stand for the remainder of the film, etc. It is exactly what its name implies. The problem is, it seems we Austinites have more tolerance for crap…

You’re going to have to use your imagination on this one. It’s not on IMDB. It’s a church made come-to-Jesus film that focuses on Latino gangs. Basically the lead character gets out of prison and finds life on the outside rough. Only Jesus can help him. Or can he???


::Now some shot on video Christian Latino prison movie called DUKE OF EARL. This is gonna hurt! #RGECA #fb::

::DUKE OF EARL has the longest, angriest “come to God” speech ever. Plus gang fights. #RGECA::

::Duke just came to Jesus. Tearfully. His days on the streets are over. Still don’t know why it’s called DUKE OF EARL, though. #RGECA::

::The “where are they now” title cards at the end of DUKE OF EARL are the best things I’ve ever seen. 4 films down! #RGEC #fb::

It’s heart was in the right place and it was actually quite entertaining for the most part. Great random VHS score by @reeldistraction. (Later, though, we learned that a qualification for an RGEC film is that it must have played theatrically.  Oops!)

  • 2011 New: 65
  • 2011 Re-see: 31
  • 2010 TOTAL: 96


Posted in 2011 New, Movies (2011) with tags , on February 13, 2011 by btsjunkie

Watched: 2/13/2011

Um. So. There is this movie called THE EXTERMINATOR about a Vietnam vet who goes haywire after his best friend is killed in NYC. He gets his gear and starts exterminating baddies. Cashing in on that movies success (?), some people got together and created THE EXECUTIONER, PART II. Figure that one out. Well, this one starts in Vietnam as well. And again the titular character is a veteran of that war and goes berserk. Christopher Mitchum sets out to find him.

This is bad. Like almost unwatchably bad. Poorly staged fights are bloodless and poor. The acting is terrible. The sound is almost completely inept and poor ADR. Poor Aldo Ray gets a “starring” credit but only appears for a few minutes (as is the case with most “starring Aldo Ray” movies). I pulled this out of a box of recently acquired VHS and onto the shelf to never been watched again it goes!

  • 2011 New: 48
  • 2011 Re-see: 23
  • 2010 TOTAL: 71

Horror Movie Night: BLUE MONKEY (1987)

Posted in 2011 New, Horror Movie Night, Movies (2011) with tags , , on February 9, 2011 by btsjunkie

Watched: 2/9/2011

Spoiler: no monkeys in this one! An old man working with an exotic plant gets bitten by something and is taken to a hospital where it grows big and exits his body. More people become infected. The original pupa creature is caught but then some stupid dumb ass terminal kids pour some sort of growth powder on it. Monster-hidden-in-shadow violence ensues. As far as I can tell the movie is named after an offhanded comment made by one of the stupid dumb ass terminal kids who suspects they will find a blue monkey (Sarah Polley) in the tunnels under the hospital. Dopey kid. Mildly amusing film also stars John Vernon.

  • 2011 New: 45
  • 2011 Re-see: 22
  • 2010 TOTAL: 67

Horror Movie Night: ICED (1988)

Posted in 2011 New, Horror Movie Night, Movies (2011) with tags , , on February 2, 2011 by btsjunkie

Watched: 2/2/2011

Here’s an impenetrably inept slasher if I ever saw one. The movie starts with a bunch of annoying couples on a ski weekend when one of them gets jealous, sending him into a murderous rage. He starts to ski as fast as he can down a hill towards… something… seemingly to gain enough speed to… burst through their window and ski them to death? Who knows. He doesn’t make it. He falls on his face. Seriously.

Years later, all the surviving friends are invited to a timeshare pitch. You read that 100% right. This is the only horror movie I know of that revolves around a TIMESHARE PITCH. Anyways, they all meet up, reminisce about their dead friend, work on in the kitchen, do marginally sexy things, ski a little and then, in the last 10 minutes, decides it wants to be a slasher. And some slashing happens.

This is a fun flick to watch with friends. Alone it would be painfully dull. There are enough WTF moments to make things worth it. There’s not a lot of gore, but boobhounds will find quite a bit to appreciate. For some reason I REALLY liked the view from inside the killer’s cracked ski mask. At least that they got that (and the bitchin’ title screen above) right!

  • 2011 New: 43
  • 2011 Re-see: 17
  • 2010 TOTAL: 60


Posted in 2011 New, Movies (2011) with tags , on January 15, 2011 by btsjunkie

Watched: 1/15/2011

After BLUE VALENTINE I needed something emotionally vapid and this ’80s zero-budget film was on my radar (probably thanks to Zack Carlson). Made my John and Mark Polina (FEEDERS, PETER ROTTENTAIL) when they were still in their teens, it is the story of twin brothers who go to their aunts farm where sick shit is going down. And I mean really sick shit. This movie is way more disgusting than I anticipated (there’s fisting, shit eating, blowjobs, everything) and the zero-budget spirit is through the roof. Lots of fun IF YOU’RE INTO THIS KIND OF STUFF!


  • 2011 New: 16
  • 2011 Re-see: 9
  • 2010 TOTAL: 25

Horror Movie Night: THE BONEYARD (1991)

Posted in 2010 New, Age 29 New, Horror Movie Night, Movies (2010), Movies (Age 29) with tags , , , , on October 6, 2010 by btsjunkie

Watched: 10/6/2010

I don’t know if I drank too much beer before the movie started or what but I didn’t quite catch the setup of this film. I DO know that a really large, plain looking psychic lady and some other people are trapped in a morgue where two Asian children have turned into zombies. Oh and Phyllis Diller is there playing a character called Mrs. Poopinplatz.

Tonally this film is kind of all over the place with some great gore gags and zombie attacks and then ridiculous humor… mainly everything involving Diller. She’s an odd casting decision that could have been brilliant or annoying and she rests somewhere between the two. Things do get wicked crazy in act 3 when bigger monsters appear. Other than that, there’s a lot of wandering down the same hallway over and over again (a la SHAKMA). It’s hard to recommend fully but it’s not one you’ll want to walk away from if a buddy puts it on. Got it?

  • 2010 New: 306
  • 2010 Re-see: 127
  • 2010 TOTAL: 433